


Left Waiting

by Katzy_Kins



Category: DA Inquisition, DAII, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom, Dragon Age: Inquisition, da2 - Fandom, da: inquisition
Genre: Angst, DA2, Death, Dragon Age 2 - Freeform, Dragon Age II - Freeform, Dragon Age Inquisition, Dragon Age: Inquisition - Freeform, F/M, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, sadfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 16:14:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17206682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzy_Kins/pseuds/Katzy_Kins
Summary: Hawke returns home after facing down a fear demon, only to confront something much, MUCH scarier......An angry lover.





	Left Waiting

Survival didn’t feel like the victory is was supposed to, as she walked through the doorway of her home in Kirkwall. It was well after midnight and she hoped Fenris wouldn’t be long; they had to be quick and careful to not alert whatever authority was running things now. The chaos had settled and for the moment, everyone seemed focused on everything else except the mage rebellion. Even so, she wasn’t willing to test their patience. 

Together, she, Stroud and the Inquisitor had fought through the trials of the fade, and she endured as the fear demon played on her weaknesses and reopened old wounds. It had dug up her whole family just to dangle their mummified memory in her face, and even after all these years; she still felt responsible. 

“Welcome back...” Fenris emerged from the den, brow creased into a scowl.  
“Fenris--I’m...” He raised his hand for her silence. She stepped closer to him. 

“I...looked everywhere for you.” His expression changed; he looked so wounded, it was a hurt she hadn't emotionally prepared for, her response was in recoil as those injured words impaled her with his grief--it was tangible, his pain. 

“Fenris...I know you’re upset, but--...” He cut her off, “No. That is an understatment, I am not only upset, I was terrified. For Maker knows how long, I waited for you to come home, or to receive some vague message from Varric that you were...” The careful evenness of his voice began to falter, and she could hear him choke back the beginnings of a sob. Shame stole her gaze from him. She squeezed her eyes shut. Guilt wrapping itself around her heart. 

“I didn’t do it to hurt you.” she started off so confidently, but her nerves began to fray as she remembered the wicked voice of the fear demon, 

_“Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did mattered?”_

Her disposition grew tense, Fenris drew closer. “...Hawke?” She backed away from him, “Stop...No--Don’t!” she cried, flinching, covering her face with her hands, 

_“Fenris is going to die. Just your family, and everyone you ever cared about.”_

She heard its voice again. There was no task at hand, no battles to distract her from the sting of its words. She felt faint. She was slipping. It was inside her now, 

_“You’re a failure. And your family died knowing it.”_

Fenris lurched forward, swiftly hooking his arm around her waist. She bowled back against him, knees buckling, bringing them both to the floor with a thud.   
For a while she was soundless, nothing but shakes and shallow breaths. He was giving her time to collect herself before he angled her face to meet his. “Hawke--Maker’s breath, what happened to you?” 

Verbally, she was a mess, and emotionally, She was even worse, but she attempted to communicate what she had seen in the fade with the inquisitor.

“I--It...told me what I already know...I’m a failure, and how I’ve never successfully saved anyone or anything...” She laid on his chest, planning out her words carefully. “look at everything that’s happened...Have I ever brought anything but doom and chaos?” she closed her eyes. 

“I didn’t tell you because--Fenris, you are the only person I’ve left in the world.” She rose taller on knees. “That is no exaggeration, it is stone cold fact. And when you fight, you are...reckless. What would I do without you? If that thing took you away like everyone else in my life...” 

He didn’t want to look at her eyes anymore; glazed over, wet with tears. He felt responsible. “This is why I should have been there...” he murmured, pulling her closer to his chest. “Oh, you hate the fade...” 

“...But I love you.” He whispered. She tried to look up, but his chin was planted firmly on top of her head. “Perhaps I have been selfish...Throwing myself into losing battles. I did not consider what this might do to you.” He parted from her and began to stand up, “I would gladly endure any amount of magic or demons--as I have--If it meant keeping you safe. From fear demons, and from the intangible...all of it.” he held out his hands to help her up. 

They faced each other, her eyes darting around the room in a panic before she finally met his, “Stroud...he’s gone. And I can’t think of a single reason why it was him and not me...What if he had a family?”

“You have one too.” He didn’t like the way she was talking. “...But for how long?...If you keep this up...” Before he could respond, she picked up their bearings, “We need to get out of here...It’s not safe anymore..."


End file.
